My Birthday

What does it say about you when your birthday no longer feels special?

This year, my birthday felt like just another day. It’s strange because I enjoy life.

I seriously love my life. My life is awesome, maybe even perfect. I have an awesome job at Dialexa. I have money (earned from my awesome job). I have every worldly possession I could possibly want. I’m a student at Carnegie Mellon University.  I’m have a 4.0 GPA at Carnegie Mellon University. I’m taking the coolest classes with the coolest professors. I’m friends with incredible people.  In fact, the only thing that I can even imagine wanting is a relationship, but even then, I’m not sure if a relationship would make my life more perfect, or less perfect.

In general life is awesome, so why doesn’t my birthday feel special? Is everyday so special that August 14th just seems like a normally special day?

Even though this is the first year my birthday didn’t seem special, I haven’t celebrated my birthday with friends or a party since I was 14.  No sweet 16.  No celebration of coming of age. Nothing in between. I simply didn’t celebrate and didn’t care.

The majority of my real world friends never send me birthday wishes.  In fact, more of my friends online (who call me Houdini) send me birthday wishes than I receive from so-called real world friends. It  is probably better this way.  What do I say when somebody sends me a ‘happy birthday’? “Thanks, but I don’t really feel like my birthday is special anymore.” Somehow, I can’t image that being taken well.

It’s scary, but I just don’t know what this means.  What does it mean when your birthday is no longer special?


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